Shanghaied by Shopping

Writing really has got to be the best job on the planet! I returned to my novel this week, which first entailed setting up a workspace. Candle, computer, journal, pen, and pencil. What else do I need? (Well, I need to put away my phone so that I keep my writing time sacred.)

This does prove that you can write virtually anywhere. Even on the ground when you have no furniture, but a story you must tell.

And then there are the distractions. Which are really just adventures disguised. One of my new Shanghai friends, Mr. Bachelor Guy Evan, sent me a great article from the New Yorker about my new hometown. In it was this highly intriguing paragraph...

"The tailor whipped up a snappy little dress to Mai’s specifications and
delivered it to my hotel three days later. I wore it to an appointment with
Francine Martin, an American who leads shopping tours of Shanghai, to sites
recondite and renowned (www.eastofthesun-asia.com). “Thirty-three dollars?”
she said. “Very nice, but one should never pay more than twenty dollars for
a simple custom-made dress.” (Stall 237 also makes men’s shirts of Egyptian
cotton for $15, but Martin probably knows where they can be had for $10.)"

How could I resist this? How does one make a living from shopping?! So guess who booked an interview with Francine next week as part of my Shanghai Cool project? (I plan to interview at least one cool person every week, and my list now includes Francine.) YAY!

Speaking of shopping, while waiting for my friend Shelli this morning in a Starbucks, I heard English. It was bliss to hear words that I understand. Without a problem. Even if it was eavesdropping. Now I know why my parents were so delighted to hear Taiwanese, their mother tongue, on the first weekend walk after they moved to Seattle.

As providence would have it, this English-speaking woman was short a few RMB, and I spotted her the difference. She said she'd pay that random act of kindness forward...and I said, "No, you'll pay it back to me! Just call me! Please!" How pathetic is it that I am not above paying for new friends? Ha! (Angela did have the coolest bag and a very hip vibe...and we exchanged numbers. And she did, in fact, text me.)

So after my daughter declared our house SAD, my friend Shelli has staged a shopping intervention and took me (the world's most impatient shopper) to her favorite rug maker, an hour's drive from where we live. An hour. Did I mention an hour away? However, an hour with Shelli is paradise. We could be in a garbage dump and still be able to chat happily.

There is nothing easy about shopping in Shanghai. Even in the grocery stores, you don't just pick your produce, pop it into a bag, and finish the rest of your marketing. No. There is someone who weighs and stickers your bag for you BEFORE you get to the cashier. I learned this the hard way.

The key to shopping in Shanghai is to know precisely what you want and what you're willing to pay BEFORE you enter a store. Clarification: these aren't just stores--they are warehouses filled with stalls of merchants. No price is a set price. Everything is negotiable. And there is a bewildering array of goods. Here is one tiny section of the mega-rug / curtain / bedding shopping complex.

Meanings are lost in translation. I know that. They're lost even when we speak the same language. So whether I get the 9' by 12' rug that I ordered--or a 9cm by 12cm rug--that is the question that will be resolved in three days when the rug is ready.

Everyday is an adventure. Every day.

Culture Shock!

Frankly, I had always wondered why so many women living abroad joined the American Women's Club, stayed put in their tidy expat compounds, and when they ventured out, traveled in packs. Now, I do.

While we've been able to laugh (usually hours AFTER the fact) at our stupid newbie moments, during them, it's all sweat and tears. Language isn't just a barrier; it's the Great Wall.

Take today.

I went foraging for furniture. (Although...take a look at this cute sofa I found. Are the orange accessories a yes or a no?)

Anyhow, all the guidebooks said to go to this one antique shop. I should have known better. Can you say tourist trap? But, heck, we traveled a full HOUR to get to the place. Rather than call it a waste of a day, I learned that just 2 kilometers away was an old village.

So off we went, all happy and proud of ourselves for being adventurers.

And then came lunch.

I decided that one week of acclimatizing to Shanghai wasn't quite enough time for our stomachs to handle street food.

So we ducked into a little restaurant, crammed with people, where I thought I was ordering won ton soup. Instead, I got...

...the bowl of mystery. Under full disclosure, it was an expensive bowl of mystery.

My "bu yao" (I don't want it!) didn't do much to remove the bowl from our table. Neither did pantomiming that no-I-did-not-order-this. Clearly, I need to study my Mandarin more. No translation required for the tittering among the waitstaff. *sigh*

And just to wallow in my ineptness, let me just mention my first grocery shopping expedition to Carrefour. You would think: hey, it's a French company. I'll be able to get around this grocery store just fine! Uh-huh. And you would think: hey, I'm a regular shopper of the Asian food stores in Seattle. I'll be able to get around just fine. Repeat after me: uh-huh.

There was no preparing for the sheer number of people in the store. Nor the bewildering array of products, most of which I have never seen before. To be blunt, I went catatonic. As in I was able to steer my cart, but not much else. I literally put 3 things in my grocery cart. Meanwhile, my husband dumped the entire contents of the beverage aisle into his cart.

So I was very much relieved when I took the kids for an evening stroll back at our home...and there, waiting for me on my computer, was a message from one of my best friends from college. We now live 10 minutes away from each other in Shanghai. She announced that she was back in town!

I am so eating humble pie tonight...and let me tell you, it tastes good. YAY! A friend who speaks my language and knows her way around Shanghai. A friend who I can hang out with. YAY!

The Long Goodbye

Six weeks and counting before I leave the U.S. to call China my home for a year. Oh, I know. A year is going to flash by...even if I'm struggling with my daily 1/2 hour language tapes. My neurons are old. What can I say?

So as a goodbye present, my sister--the best sister on the planet, I might add--offered to help me with NORTH OF BEAUTIFUL, which is about a mapmaker's daughter. Look at what she made... mini matchbook thank you cards!

But you know what's really hard about moving? It's saying goodbye to my family and friends, especially the exceptional women and some of my best friends: my StrataGem consulting group.

For seven years, a bunch of us worked completely pro bono helping non-profit groups solve business problems. These women said YES to helping foster kids to kids with cancer to children who were dying. The projects we took on were HUGE in scope and demanding in hours...well beyond what volunteers normally take on for free. But these women...these women...were tireless and committed and smart. And they own a huge part of my heart.

So let me give my personal shout-out to some of the fab women in StrataGem who are pictured here:

Nicole (cute, buff, blonde) is a former television producer and current Mamazon (my role model for motherhood). She does everything beautifully. Lauren in the purple is an environmental consultant--and was green before green wasn't simply a color. I admit: she's one of the wittiest person I know, and my best lines no doubt come straight from her mouth. And at the end is Julie, an anchorwoman, and the embodiment of generosity and graciousness.

If home is where the heart is, my friends will be with me in China. I know it because they have always been there for me and for the people who have needed their talents the most.